It's My Christmas Pity Party
by amethystsea
Summary: Edgar Hansen is alone at Christmas until he meets a girl who is having her own 'It's My Christmas Pity Party And I'll Cry If I Want To'
1. Chapter 1

_Well, here we go. The real title is: 'It's My Christmas Pity Party And I'll Cry If I Want To!' (Thanks to Leslie Gore) Big time Johnathan cheatin' but hey, it's a Holiday Story. Want more? Get those Reviews in for encouragement! _

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><p><span>Edgar<span>

He couldn't stay in the house so he drove to the wharf to walk. A lone man set against the backdrop of bright Christmas lights and crowds of laughing couples, friends, and families. He appeared to be in deep thought as he walked and smoked. He was, but his thoughts were anything but joyous.

'Well, here you go Edgar my boy, ' He thought.

'Time to untangle some feelings. So he visualized sorting through and separating his feelings like a big knot of tangled line, just like his therapist told him to do. Why? Because if you don't she told him, the twisted knot of your feelings will get so big, only a tall scotch or twenty will get you lose.'

He identified a long section of anger. Fuckin' therapist. She was right but he hated untangling line real or imagined, 'cause to his way of thinking it represented somebody's fuck-up, some negligence, stupidity, or ineptness. In this case his. Next guilt and sadness sprung up out of his mess of line, which the therapist said was progress, because he used to just stew in anger when the underlying emotions were too painful, and he used alcohol or drugs to ease the pain.

So let's examine guilt he mused as he leaned on a rail staring out at the dark water and lights. No wife, no kids, and all his fault. Just because Louise had stayed with him for so long through all his bullshit didn't mean she would stay forever, and she hadn't. Three years ago, she had called it quits, returned to Norway, met and married the kid's pediatrician 'Mister Wonderful' six months ago. Now he saw his kids even less and it was gonna be touch and go if in the end, they would love him more than hate him.

He took a deep breath. Got that section untangled. Now for the really snarled one. He dropped his head and leaned further over the rail. Sadness, so painful he just had to breathe through it before he could touch it. He wanted to keep leaning over until the overwhelming sense of heartrending loss hurled out of his soul. Roughly he jerked himself straight and visualized cutting the line at that snarl, storing away the neatly coiled line, and walking away from the rest of the snarl. . .until his session next week with the therapist.

Dawne

Jeez, she thought what a cliché her life was. . . not only was she 'Sleepless in Seattle', but about as single as you could get. Well, at least the crowds of oh-so-happy couples and families had thinned considerably, and she could sit on her bench overlooking the Sound in some peace uninterrupted by the swirling vista of what was missing in her miserable life.

She was curious about the man who rested against the rail a few feet away smoking and staring. The hood of his sweatshirt was pulled up so she could only get a look at his profile but what she could detect. . .good looking, real good looking. She pulled the flask from her pocket and took another swig of vodka. What the hell, no guts-no glory, she thought, got to her feet, a little unsteady, and casually approached him and spoke.

'Excuse me, sorry, I'm out of cigarettes, could I bum one?'

Edgar turned his head and looked her up and down. About 5'9", slim, nice breasts, long curly black hair, crème beige complexion, big green eyes that looked just a tad woozy, full lips, and a sexy smile. He straighten.

'Sure.' Reached into his sweatshirt pocket and shook one from the pack.

Dawne reach for it. 'Thanks.'

'Need a light?' She nodded.

Boo-yah! She thought, big brown eyes, strong straight nose, lazy smile with just a hint of an over-bite, that always did it for her. Her hands touched his as he lit it the cigarette and she noted his were big, strong, and work-hardened. She stared into his brown eyes as she drew on the cigarette, and immediately went into a spasm of choking and gasping.

'Whoa, easy there!' Edgar was alarmed and slapped her on the back.

Her eyes were welling from the force of her coughing and when she could again breath, she looked up at him, shook her head, laughed ruefully, and threw the cigarette over the rail.

'Are you alright?' He said concerned as her took her arm.

'Oh yeah, I'm just swell.' Her face burning with mortification.

'Remind me never to approach a hot guy again using the excuse of bumming a cigarette when I've never smoked a day in my life.' And returned to her bench.

Edgar watched as she raised a flask and took a long drink, capped it and returned it to her jacket pocket. Uh, oh. He thought, been there, done that. His first inclination was to walk away, but there was something about the rebellious set of her shoulders and her resigned look that beckoned him. He slowly approached and sat down next to her. He didn't say anything for a few minutes. She gave him a side look and raised an eyebrow.

'Hot?' He drawled.

She shook her head, turned and grinned.

'Call me crazy. But, yeah. . .hot. As in 'I bet you're a fisherman hot kinda way.'

Edgar was bemused. 'What gave me away?'

She gave him an appraising head to toe review.

'Hands like my uncles, Norwegian by the looks of you even with the brown eyes' She leaned in and plucked a sliver of a fish scale from his hoodie.

'Sweatshirt straight off a deck.'

'Damn.' He laughed. 'Are you CSI or sumthing?'

She relaxed. 'Nope, just got fishermen on both sides of the family and a fatal weakness for the breed.'

She gave him a hands up. 'What can I say?'

She offered him her flask. 'Wanna a swig?'

Edgar put his hands up. 'Nope. Doesn't agree with me.'

Dawne gave him a long look as she drained the flask and tucked it back in her pocket.

'A.A.?'

'Yep, 10 months clean.' Edgar replied honestly.

'That's cool. Me? I'm a 'normie' Can pick it up and put it down at will. Tonight? This is my 'Fuck me it's Christmas!' pity party.' You?'

Edgar liked her. 'Pretty much the same.'

She held out her hand. 'Dawne Langston.'

Edgar shook her soft hand and replied. 'Edgar. Edgar Hansen. Fisherman, guilty as charged.'

She rose and encouraged. 'Well Edgar Hansen, fisherman guilty as charged, wanna walk and talk?'

Edgar rose and shrugged. 'Might as well Dawne, it's my 'Fuck me it's Christmas!' pity party too.'

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><p><em>One - Three Dog Night<em>

_One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do_  
><em>Two can be as bad as one<em>  
><em>It's the loneliest number since the number one<em>

_No is the saddest experience you'll ever know_  
><em>Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know<em>  
><em>`Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do<em>  
><em>One is the loneliest number, worse than two<em>

_It's just no good anymore since she went away_  
><em>Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday<em>

_One is the loneliest, number one is the loneliest_  
><em>Number one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do<em>  
><em>One is the loneliest, one is the loneliest<em>  
><em>One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do<em>  
><em>It's just no good anymore since she went away<em>  
><em>(Number) One is the loneliest<em>  
><em>(Number) One is the loneliest<em>  
><em>(Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do<em>  
><em>(Number) One is the loneliest<em>  
><em>(Number) One is the loneliest<em>  
><em>(Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Listen, I don't know squat-diddley about Seattle so if my geography ain't the best, suspend reality and just go with me here. Review and encourage ya'll so I can get past 'Oh my God am I really gonna write Edgar smut?' writer's block! _

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><p><span>Edgar<span>

As they walked and talked he was surprised to realize he was actually enjoying himself, and had laughed more in the last hour than he had in months. She started it with a friendly competition of 'Let's Swap Best Messed Up Childhood Christmas Gift Story.' He went first with a rousing rendition of 'The Christmas Dad Was Brilliant and Got Evil Sig Boxing Gloves and He Beat Everybody's Ass.' Dawne laughed so hard as he recounted the long day of ass-whooping and the running in fear of his life the ensued, she was crying and hanging onto him at the end.

'I'll never forget that one!' Edgar snorted.

She composed herself and proceed with a hysterical story about the year of 'The Great Barbie War' when she and her two sisters had fought over who was gonna get which Barbie, after their clueless parents decided the three girls should work it out amongst themselves.

'Now I'm the oldest, so I figured I got first dibs.' Dawne explained.

Edgar deadpanned. 'Typical psychotic oldest thinking, Sig and you would get along great!'

'Don't hate on us #1 Sons, hate on the fickle finger of fate. Anyway, it shortly got ugly.'

They howled as she described how over the day each Barbie's hair, features, and clothes were viciously disfigured. She could barely catch her breath as she hooted out the last bit.

'Mine ended up with a bald head, one leg, and both eyes poked out.'

Edgar caught his breath and wiped his eyes. 'Man, I had no idea girls were so vicious.'

'As you well know, when you got three of the same gender it can get primeval.' Dawne pointed out.

'That it can.' He agreed.

They had walked quite a distance and had reached a curve on the wharf where an old warehouse that had been converted into lofts stood.

Edgar looked up. 'I remember when this building was converted and always wondered what the lofts looked like.'

Dawne was surprised. 'Really? This one?'

'Yeah, I do some carpentry, tile work, and stuff and wondered what the renovations looked like. Why?'

Dawne smile was big and her eyes danced as she pulled her keys out of her pocket.

'Well then, Merry Christmas Edgar Hansen! Wanna see my loft?'

Edgar was gobsamcked. 'Get out! You live in one of these!

'Yep, third floor.' She took his arm. 'Come on, not to brag, but it's really cool.'

Edgar stalled. 'You don't have to, I mean you don't know me, I don't want to. . .'

Dawne's hand reached up and held his cheek. 'Edgar Hansen, fisherman, brother of Evil Sig, honored guest at my very exclusive 'Fuck Me It's My Christmas Pity Party'. Would you please come on up, I'd like to keep the party goin'?'

She brushed his lips softly with hers, opened the outer door, took him by the hand, smiled, and pulled him inside the lobby. Dawne held his hand and chatted about the building pointing out the original mosaic floor detail, and other historic touches, as she put her key in the elevator to her floor. There were only two spaces on her floor, she explained, and her neighbors Ken and Douglas were graphic artists and cool. Still holding his hand she turned the key to her door and skipped him in.

Dawne

'Just throw your jacket anywhere, get comfortable, have a look around, and I'll get something hot on. Coffee? Tea? '

'Coffee. Black.' Edgar replied as he took in the space. 'Wow' he thought, this was amazing. Soft classical renditions of holiday classics played softly. Her furnishings were eclectic and comfortable, one corner was obviously an office, and from behind a brick archway on the other side peeked a bedroom.

Panoramic view of Elliot Bay, soaring ceiling, exposed brick walls, original hardwood floors restored and gleaming, every wall and archway exposed brick. A miniature Fragrant Fir Christmas tree sparkling with tiny bee-lights and miniature bulbs, sat on the counter that divided the kitchen and dining room. He whistled as he examined the bathroom sliding door crafted in beautifully restored mahogany.

'That's really what sold me on the place, I love that door.' She smiled with two steaming mugs in her hands. 'Come on,' She motioned. 'Let's sit.' And lead him to the big over-stuffed sofa. Okay Gurl. She cautioned herself. Don't blow it now. Get me! I have actually managed to get me a big, fine, man up to my pad for Christmas! Maybe she'd even get to un-wrap him later!

They both had taken off their boots and were sitting facing each other cross-legged. Edgar was really digging her. He figured her at late 30's, the green eyes were wide and mesmerizing framed by long thick lashes, high cheek bones, real sexy generous mouth. Once the bulky jacket was off, all the curvy in-all-the-places he liked had been revealed, and he surprised how easy he felt with her. He motioned with his cup to the office space.

'Do you work from here?'

'Most of the time.' Dawne explained.

'I'm a technical writer for Microsoft. I toil for the very uncool Window.'

He looked around. 'You must write a lot!'

She laughed. 'If only. Nope, divorced. Got the joint in the settlement. That was about three years ago.'

'Me too.' He said ruefully.

'Me too?'

'Divorced, three years.'

'Kids?'

'Yep, with their mother and new step-dad in Norway. You?'

'Kids? Nope, he didn't want them and I didn't push it trying to keep his sorry ass.'

Time to change the subject before the party swerved back to pity. She peered at him over her cup.

'Okay, we're covered worst childhood gift ever, next let's move on to favorite Christmas movie, you first.'

Edgar teased. 'Nope I went first last time, you go first.'

'Alright, but you're gonna think I'm really weird. My ex said I was just being perverse. ' He raised an eyebrow.

'The Long Kiss Goodnight.'

Edgar almost choked on his coffee.

'NO WAY! I love that movie! Not sure I'd put it in the 'Christmas' category but it's solid cool.'

'Listen, I would really like to you to hang out with me tonight. That's if you don't have somewhere else to be?' If you do, I understand.' She smiled shyly.

Edgar smiled back. 'Hey, I'm yours tonight until you get sick of lookin' at me.'

Umm baby, she thought you're in for a loooong night. She put down her cup and crawled over to him, got on her knees, hands curved into paws, and gave him her best beggin' puppy imitation.

'Wanna watch the movie? Wanna watch it? Please, please say you do! I'll rustle up popcorn and stuff.' Then she started tussling with him, licking his face, tickling his ribs, and begging. 'Please, please, please!'

She ended up on top of him and had him laughing so hard, he couldn't refuse her. 'Alright, alright, stop! 'Long Kiss Goodnight' it is.' She looked down at him framed in the veil of her hair gave him a soft kiss, and then teased.

'Now by my reckoning that makes two times I've kissed you tonight fisherman Edgar Hansen.'

'Yeah, I need to catch up don't I, Dawne Langston who toils for the uncool Window.' His voice was husky as he drew her mouth to his and slowly ran his tongue teasingly just inside her lips, savoring the velvety softness before thrusting into her mouth and engulfed it with a low growl.

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><p><em>From: Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man This Christmas) - The Weather Girls <em>

_The fire's out  
>The chimney's clean<br>This girls heart is open and  
>it don't mean a thing<br>Place him under my tree  
>and let it snow<br>this Christmas  
>and let it snow<br>this Christmas  
>Oh bring me a man<br>I need a man  
>Please santa<br>bring me a man  
>I need a man keeping me warm<em>

_I've been a good girl all year long_  
><em>I done my best right or wrong<em>  
><em>Come on Santa won't you please<em>  
><em>Look at me I'm on my knees<em>  
><em>Oh bring me a man<em>

_It's gettin' late  
>So send him here<br>I don't think I can make  
>it through another year<br>Come on Santa come through  
>Oh a usual place<br>A strong embrace  
>A pillow and a blanket<br>by the fireplace  
>Dim the lights down low<em>

_Oh bring me a man_  
><em>I need a man<em>  
><em>Please santa<em>  
><em>bring me a man<em>  
><em>I need a man keeping me warm<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_Don't where this Edgar came from but he felt right. . .hope you enjoy._

Dawne

When he finally released her mouth, she was woozy with desire. Down girl, her right brain cautioned. The night is young, don't slut it up too quick. Right. She looked down at him and smiled lazily.

'Ummm I'd say we're even. Definitely want to do that again.'

Edgar reached up to take her again. But she was too quick, leap off him, headed to the kitchen, and gave him a saucy look.

'But first popcorn and kick-ass Christmas movie are on the party agenda and I need a tall man over here.'

Edgar shook his head, grinned and muttered as he got up. 'Let the party games begin.'

Edgar

Dawne pointed to a red pot on the highest kitchen shelf. Edgar stood close to her so that his body covered hers as he reached over her head and brought down the pot. She was blushing when she turned. He saw the effect he was having on her and was starting to enjoy the party games. He examined the pot. It was a real hand crank popcorn popper.

'You gotta be kiddin' me. No microwave popcorn?'

Dawne replied in fake affront.

'Microwave? Sir, you speak heresy! And you get to do the crankin'.'

Edgar was immediately fascinated with the pots innards and Dawne brought out the popping oil and seasonings. She held up two packets.

'What's your fancy? Old school movie theater or gourmet kettle?'

Edgar pointed.

'Old school'

'Ah, a purist.' She smiled. 'Me too.'

They worked together comfortably as if they had done this many times and enjoyed it, as they heated the oil, measured, and cranked. In a few minutes the lids were overflowing with hot, fragrant, white kernels that Edgar caught and quickly tossed in a big ceramic bowl. As he shoveled in a mouthful he groaned.

'I haven't tasted popcorn like this since I was a kid.' He swallowed and gave her a salty, buttery, kiss. He straightened and said 'Open' and tossed a kernel in her mouth. Laughing, tossing and catching kernels, and a few buttery, salty kisses turned out to be a hit 'party game'.

Dawne 

She pointed him to DVD collection to dig out the movie, and had a short talk with herself. . .Self, I know you just want to jump his bones, but there's some special chemistry going on. So just hang on and see where he wants to go.

She carried the bowl of popcorn over to the sofa and a couple of Cokes. Edgar lounged in a corner with the DVD player remote in his hand, beckoned her, patted the cushion in front of him and smiled.

'Sit down woman. I need my popcorn. . .and you within easy reach.'

She settled herself against him with the bowl in her lap, looked back at him and laughed.

'Give a guy a remote. . .and he immediately goes caveman.'

His warm breath nuzzled her ear, he growled, and hit PLAY.

As the movie played, they discussed their favorite scenes and chuckled at the same dialogue. Dawne couldn't remember the last time she had enjoyed such sweet anticipation as she stroked his big, muscled thigh.

'Ya know.' She mused. 'Geena got robbed.' 'Look! Charlie's shooting up the carload of bad guys on ice skates. . .she shoulda got the Oscar for that shit'.

Edgar leaned over, ran his mouth up her neck, and she shivered. He then lifted the mostly empty bowl off her lap, and took her salty, buttery hand licked the palm and suck each finger. Then he expertly flipped her over onto her side and ran his hand down her back and waist while pressing her slowly against him. Even through their clothes Dawne could feel his hard muscled body and obvious desire for her. He whispered as he ran gentle fingers over her face as if to put every feature to put to memory.

'Don't want any more popcorn. . . or Charlie. . or Geena. . .want you. . .if that's O.K. with you?' And lifted her chin and kissed her with slow possession.

'Pity Party' fun and games were definitely over.

Dawne & Edgar

Edgar was taking his time as he stroked and explored her body on the sofa. By his few words and the manly way her handled her body, Dawne realized the party was now his. When he got her top and bra off, he smiled as his cupped one globe and then the other. 'Oh, yes.' And went about the slow and thorough business of licking, teasing, and sucking. When she became too urgent, he would slow down, and gentle her back to where he wanted her. . .dominated and shivering with desire. He could be perverse like that.

His slow and scrupulous exploration of her body felt like exquisite torture at the hands of a master, he had her moaning and gasping by the time he finished removing every strip of her clothing, and had her where he wanted her, laying completely venerable under his hands. He rolled her onto his chest as he continued to gentle her mouth with warmth and whispers, as both big hands ran slowly down her back to cup her ass, and back up lazily over and over, up and down. He liked how her eyes stared into his unfocused and soft then closed as another shudder ran through her.

'Please,' She moaned when she was able to escape the cage of his mouth that imprisoned hers. 'Please let me. . .you. . .I want. . .'

'Shhhh,' He eased as he brought them to their feet, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on for dear life, his hands continued to run over her body as he cupped her ass and rubbed his bulging jeans into her mound in slow lazy circles. Her head fell back as she gasped and pleaded.

He caught a handful of her hair and pulled her back to his mouth and breathed heavily.

'I like to unwrap my Christmas presents slow. . .real slow.'

He lifted and raised her up, mindless she wrapped her legs tightly around his hips, and he headed for the bedroom.

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><p>Epilogue.<p>

Edgar sat leaning forward on the couch facing his therapist who raised an eyebrow and smiled which was the usual clue for him to begin. After their last session, she knew Christmas was going to be a tough for him and was anticipating a thorny session.

'Ya know,' He admitted. 'I hate doing the untangled line imagery exercise, right?'

She nodded.

'But I was glad I did it.'

Another raised eyebrow.

'A fisherman can't fish with a big snarl of tangled line, right?'

'So you have schooled me.' She replied.

'Christmas night I untangled some line, not all of it, but enough. . . I caught a woman. . a prize of a woman. . .a keeper.'

And he grinned.

She relaxed, leaned back, and listened closely.


End file.
